Fast Food, Wednesdays, and Lame Clubs.

Kyle Reviews: Fast Food Places

This review will be for fast food joints. However, I’m not going to go into the garbage served at Subway, nor the round discs of something and something and something that looks like cheese served at Domino's and Pizza Hut. This will be devoted to the BIG 3 burger places McD’s, Wendy’s and BK. Let me also make it clear that all of this food is trash, so when i say things like "pretty good" or anything positive really, I mean that it is good for what it is. Not that it is good when compared to real food.

McDonald’s

The worlds largest fast food chain, but certainly not the best. I will admit there have been times in my life, though few, that I have actually been in the mood to eat McDonald’s food. I don’t know why these urges occur nor do I control them, but when they come over me it seems the only thing that will satisfy it is a cheeseburger and some fries from the “restaurant” that God let slip into our dimension (actually, maybe McDonald’s is the 11th plague that they left out of the Bible…?). The biggest problem with these cravings is that once I do get my hands on this meat substance, I take a bite or 2 and then completely regret spending my money on something that horrible. The fries, well I’ve got nothing really against the fries. When they’re good, they’re great. When they’re bad, they’re terrible. And when they’re cold, they’re deadly weapons. As far as the other things on their menu, well it all seems to taste rather bland, which is probably why they bread and fry most of it. Though the breading and frying process happens long before you're ordering the food.
Overall Score: 2 out of 5 (good fries got them an extra point)

Wendy’s, on the other hand, seems to have good food for the most part. Also, couple that with an almost unbeatable dollar menu and you’ve got a solid, fast, unhealthy meal that will possibly stop your heart, but it won’t empty your wallet. I really only have 2 complaints with Wendy’s. One is the fact that rarely has my cheeseburger actually had melted cheese atop it. Not that big of a deal, however it would be nice to have my hot burger with some not so ice-cold cheese. Second issue isn’t really a big deal, but annoying at times. The frosty, which they generally bill as their milkshake. Well, it is undrinkable through a straw (unless you wait a few days for it to melt). This is rarely a problem unless I decide I would like this delicious treat while I’m driving or doing anything when only one hand is accessible.
Overall Score: 3½ out of 5 (you have to give them credit for the dollar menu and chili)

Burger King, the creepy commercials are probably the highlight. The food actually isn’t too bad as far as fast food goes. The nice part is the option of onion rings instead of the mush-sticks they call fries, however, it would be really nice if I could ever get these onion rings when I order them. Generally I get what I order when I go there, except for the onion rings. Can I have a Whopper with cheese, extra pickles, no onions, some barbecue sauce, extra mustard and instead of beef I’d like to have my meat patty made out of unicorn. To drink I’ll have ½ coke ½ diet coke. Lastly I’d like onion rings instead of fries, please. I get my unicorn burger with all required condiments and without any of the ones I omitted. I get my coke-hybrid, but I get French fries. I don’t understand this. You can handle a complex series of modifications to my burger, but you can’t just fill the paper cup with brown round things instead of yellow straights? It just doesn’t make sense and for that I have a bit of hatred in my heart for the self proclaimed Burger King.
Overall Score: 3 out of 5 (not the worst food, but i can't get over the issue with the onion rings)


Kyle’s short review: Wednesdays

Well, overall I believe that Wednesday is one of the better days of the work week. It is the marker for the week being half over, which is obviously terrific. As well as being a day to just kind of coast through to save my energy for the Thursday push to get to Friday as quickly as possible. Yet another great thing that Wednesday has going for it is that, well at least it isn’t Monday(though yes, all the other days of the week get to claim this, mostly Tuesday gets to claim this as it’s biggest positive aspect).
Wednesday is not without its bad points. There is most definitely a dark side to this midweek day. If you are having a bad Wednesday, it feels like Thursday and Friday are going to take forever to get through. My main complaint about this day, and to no fault of its own, is its nickname. Yeah, this better than average day of the week did absolutely nothing to deserve such a horrid nickname as… “Hump Day.” Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve heard worse nicknames in my life, though they have all been cursed upon people. Not a day or anything of that sort. I just want to know who made this up and thought it was actually a clever thing to be doing. It’s just plain fucking stupid. And to top it off, for some reason there is a good portion of the population that finds it absolutely hilarious due to using it as a sexual reference. Generally that part of it only happens in the online world, which I, thankfully, don’t have to experience often. But seriously people, it is not funny, clever or any other positive adjective. This ended up being quite a bit longer than I had planned. Oh well.
Happy fucking Wednesday everyone!


Kyle’s review in (approximately)1 line or less or sometimes more depending on how I feel: Crappy Bar/Club combinations...

… FUCK YOU!!! Why people go to them I’ll never know. Give me a normal bar with beer instead.





-Kyle