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This blog is (as stated in the URL, and the title) about reviews of stuff. We'll check some stuff out and write about it. In all honesty though, most of this will be bitching about stuff. Some reviews may actually end up being useful. That's kind of the goal to bitch about stuff but in a relatively useful manner. We also encourage readers to participate and write your own rant and/or review of something. The reviews can be positive, or negative and they can be about anything you want; people, places, products, animals, culture, etc. So have fun reading and writing. Send reviews to: reviews.of.stuff@gmail.com

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Sizes, an Epistolary Tale in 3 Parts


Dear Dunkin Donuts,
I know we go way back. Our love affair began sometime in high school, when it was cool to walk there after movies Friday nights. You'd serve me delicious drinks and donuts, and I'd spend hours under your soft yellow lights. No, this isn't creepy at all.

Anyway, I have a problem with you. Your cups are no longer satisfactory. When I want a small Coolatta, I don't want one that I will have to drink for an hour. And why are they 3.29? The medium is 20 cents more, with about 20x more Coolatta. Now, I love your Hazelnut Coolattas, but I don't want to drink one for that long. I mean, I have to do important things like talk, and drive, and kiss boys. These things are impeccably harder when I have a never-ending small Coolatta.

Here is my solution: Give me a real small. One that is just enough. I feel like freaking Goldilocks here, but everything is too big. Give me the just right, please. That's all I can ask for.

I still love you, DD. As long as you provide me with delicious sugar dusted jelly donuts, I will deal with drinks too large for my being. And bagels. I love your bagels. Sigh, I guess I'll see you tomorrow, sweetie.

Love, Mandy

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Dear Starbucks,

I will never comply with your "Tall," "Grande," and "Venti" scheme. It is more of a lie than the cake. I hate you. We are not friends. I know this is mutual, since whenever I order from you, I refuse to use your made up names and order a small, but please keep making iced white chocolate mochas for me occasionally. They are delicious. Let's put our size hatred aside for a few minutes as you support my espresso habit. Thanks.

Love, Mandy

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Dear Quick Check, or Quik Chek, or however you like to spell it,

Thank you for having sizes that are probably too big, but exactly what I needed to keep me up all night during finals. That extra large, half extra caffeinated, half hazelnut coffee was probably one of the best things ever. Thank you for keeping me up for three days. And thanks for the ridiculously weird dreams I had after I crashed, I guess?

Love, Mandy
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